From months of investigation and research, after interviews with multiple sources – a hairstylist, two drug dealers, his current ex-fiancé/boyfriend, a French Chem-sex buddy – I then cross-referenced this with my timeline, along with Con’s off-the-wall dysfunctional behavior, drastic weight loss, and demeaning personality changes. I discovered Con had been Chem-sexing (having sex under illegal substance influence) for years, almost the same time he gave me the ring. His choices of drug are Crystal Meth, GHB, and Viagra. And the timeline matches up because on my first 2015 arrival evening he acted like Con was switched with an evil twin from Freaky Friday; he acted like a spoiled jackass, judgmental and extremely explosive. As I have mentioned earlier, due to some small indifferent opinion on Australian produce, he brushed me off some stairs and I was injured.

Matching with the evidence, at this time he had already started his Chem-sex life and started to pretend everything was picking up, from his job prospects to amount of freelance work. In other words, he decided to go downlow with this large part of his life without letting me know. Being a hopeless romantic, my devotion had blinded me to his 2014 self. When I asked him, at least once a week, for intimate time, he would say he wasn’t in the mood or tired, he was depressed, or told me to leave my boyfriend first. But I told him we are just roommates, we do not have sex… meanwhile I asked him how he justified living with his ex and having sex with him all the time!

For six weeks I was in Hong Kong, he graced us with a mercy-f*ck on April 28, 2015; it was worse than pulling teeth, he could not wait to get it over with, and half of the act was unprotected. Later on I found he had already moved into his bachelor pad, living alone and away from his ex, while I was in HK, living alone. He made me pay for the motel for us to hook up. He kept this a secret until March 2017. I do not think I could feel more insultingly betrayed – years of punches to my self-worth, non-stop slaps on my stupid naive face. He is such a tool; what an evil manipulative sociopathic rat, pretending he had to sneak around to be with me behind his BF’s back. Acting like he was being hawkeyed over by his BF, and in such pain shuffling his life between work, his ex, and me. In reality, I am just part of his plan to be used as an ATM, a lapdog who barks when he asks, sits when he says. In fact, at times I am his cock block, an obstacle, wet blanket, a baggage who is in his way of Chem-sexing others. I took away his precious time to share his kingspin with as many Asians as possible, like the colonial period. According to users, a Chem-sex hour seems like one minute; time flies very fast when doing it, that’s why users always miss daily chores, work deadlines, are late or omit appointments, lack sleep, etc.

In 2014, when he was being so complementary, he told me how good I was in bed, versus this 2015 meet up, which was quite a dry encounter. Was he the same person? Or had he changed! That was the very last time we had any sexual contact. I tried to request a sit-down, talk on the phone or face to face with him to talk about where we were at, what we were, how we were panning out as a couple, etc.; he just passively avoided it at all costs, using that he couldn’t talk about emotional needs, that he had no capacity to take on a conversation like that. However, later on in 2017 he would tell me that when he needed me emotionally, I wasn’t there. He accustoms whatever excuse is suitable for the occasion. It was never logical; when he wanted me to stay yet he wanted to have his Chem-sex life, he tried to avoid me at all costs and request space to let him concentrate on his work-as-priority. Later on, he would call me out and tell everyone I was not there for him when he needed emotional support. What an ass!
The next two years he used sex as part of baits to keep me around for his joy of manipulation. He could borrow money then let ego run wild to demean my existence. His playbook was to keep me interested, never cut off our relationship. If I decided to fade away, he would SMS me how much he misses me, then I kept showering him with attention, expensive gifts, hand-carried fresh bagels from NY to him. That 2015 trip during March/April was hard, and he refused to read this email I sent to say goodbye because he felt sad and lonely.

---

I loved him so much and he said he wanted me to stay because he had no full-time job and no support. So for the next year, he was jobless; it seemed like he had so many small freelance jobs he rarely called back or was prompt on dates. From September 2015 to April 2016, he had borrowed six separate loans from me, averaging HK $25,000 each. For the record, from mid-2014 to April 2015, we had around 8 times of intimate time in some hourly rental motels. Between April 2015 until I found out all his lies in March 2017, I was basically a naive dumb fool who believed he was depressed and tired from work; since then I had been hoping and waiting for one day he would become sexually active again (towards me at least) … who knew he never had a problem with sex, he just has a problem with sex without drugs and the thrill of having it unprotected in many anonymous orgies or saunas. I am not sure if a filthy piece of scum, a gay community disgrace is enough to describe what he had been doing and the manipulation he had spun on me. He probably has a section of STDs, and their medication/side effects listed next to the reference along with his high and fuckability rating membership status at all gay saunas on his glowing job resume.

I found out much later from his new ex-fiancé boyfriend that the time when I loaned him the money was the time he had moved out on his own. Con had been broken off from his boyfriend since late 2015. He didn’t tell me he needed the money for the rent; he told me the money was for his credit cards, but back in my mind I recalled his credit cards were all cut off. My dream from day one we met at Icon Hotel in April 2014 was to spend an ENTIRE night sleepover, cuddling, hugging, sharing dreams in one bed without rushing through the sex and get him home before his boyfriend found out. That literally became just my dream all along. He has no heart; he could give me just that because he has moved out for years and he decided not to, but yet kept me within his arms-reach to toy me around for his advantages. Tortured me with my hope and dreams. He is an inhumane cold-blooded monster.
He had been using “too busy with his boyfriend” for almost on all occasions for not being able to call or SMS me. He had been manipulating me for what he wanted and never wanted to be with me or spend nights with me. All he told me was he was tired, his boyfriend is onto him all the time and he is depressed and not sexual. Time after time I asked for intimate time; those were his typical excuses. I would even suggest renting

a room for a few hours to hold and hug. He would find a way to back out. Now I knew he was in his haze of bathhouse crystal meth Grindr sex journey. Having public sex in his fire escape hallway for days or loaded up with GHB, Viagra and Meth then camping out in a MongKok sauna steam room for the marathon penetration of every patron who would step in his sight without protection was his highlight.

On the other hand, I was a hopeful fool who had been waiting. When he purposely didn’t communicate with me, especially a few times he would disappear unreachable after I sent him money, I got upset and I would go off the slope to SMS him more than 100 times. He used that as a way to tell me I pushed him away; I was crazy and controlling when he was so busy with work (and having sex parties at his new sex nest rented with my loans).

The email below mentioned he was victimized by my delayed unwilling breakup with my boyfriend. He told his French girlfriend the same script. She asked me a few times, “Don’t you have a BF? I always thought she knew all along and why she kept asking?” I told her, so does Con! Meanwhile, she did not know what kind of excuses he used to play me around. He omitted to tell me he moved out because he didn’t want to pressure me… that almost made sense. If you have known, he used his boyfriend’s surveillance as an excuse to either avoid my dates or go missing in action for days at a time. For the fact that I had been asking him at least half a dozen times every trip, face to face or even via SMS, to sit down to talk about “Where are we as us? Friends? Fuck buddies? etc.” He either said his work is top priority no time to speak of love, his brain could not function that way, please not to pressure his already hectic life, I was supposed to be his listener and helper… OR passively avoid the topic, and if he promised to come out to talk over a meal, he would not say anything. He was that good of a Bull-Sh!t manipulator. Why didn’t he cut it off with me? Because he is a coward and a tool! Who would know he was gang-banging every patron who walked into the steam room at Wu Tong gay sauna? It was he and his Caucasian Buddy’s fuckathon competition almost like Friday Night Football! Rules are simple, who can bareback more Asian asses wins.

Then he mentioned I left him dealing with all these misfortunes alone? I was like, I lent you money, that’s not alone… He said he needed me, not just money… But I said you were always with his ex! And I helped him and I wanted to help more, then he just changed topic. He was the one who had been Chem-sex and fuck the entire Hong Kong island. If he was still living with his ex and living/dining together, why couldn’t I do the same? When I wanted to talk he ducked. I really think he believes whatever he had made up, and completely compartmentalizes the Chem-sex part as it has nothing to do with anything else. His work was not affected by the drugs, being mean and demeaning to me was not about the drugs, and I was the one who took everything away from him; I made him cheat on his ex with a crazy stalking Polish, I made him lose his job and he was high as a kite walking into an office meeting was all my fault too.

When I found out he had moved out, I told him our loan contracts stated he had to give me his new address; he blatantly rejected the idea. Guess what his excuse was? He was afraid I would kill his new ex-fiance! His drug use must have eaten part of his brain. The only bone I have to pick with anyone would be just Con himself. His drugs crooked his moral, his conscience, priorities and logic. If he was afraid, at least I know he knew he made a huge mistake, and even when I asked to make peace, his ego decided to just stick his head into the sand.

How do any future employers or design partners trust his work ethic? I do not know. The only reason I can think of for him being able to negotiate a $500K contract with a partner is “partners at work, penis after work!” Besides making me feel bad, he made me feel so worthless and it was all my fault. I had put in so much work and money I didn’t have or I shouldn’t sell my IRA for. He disparaged my loans, demeaned my efforts, told me it’s not a big deal and will be paid back. Then he said my overage SMS and myself were such a load he didn’t need; translation, I took over time on his phone in his way to plan his next orgy with new sex buddies and being high as a kite at work!

I guess I am a classic case of the battered wife; the more I got beaten down, I kept coming back for more abuse. I kept trying to do what I am best at; I thoughtfully thought of stuff and gifts he would like, food he would want, to surprise him, trying to buy back attention and love. I remember the first week he started at Starbucks in July 2016; he said he only had $160 in his bank account and could not afford lunch. I dashed to deposit HK$1,200 for him to use even though he refused to meet me for weeks. He at this time had already moved out on his own and was busy working days, having wild Chem-sex nights, avoiding seeing me; my entire 6 weeks staying

in HK, he managed to see me twice, claiming he was just busy and lacked sleep. When I saw him and hand-delivered NYC bagels to his work, he was yawning, had a short attention span, was skinny, and had these huge scratched mosquito wounds on his arms, and couldn’t wait to leave our 35-minute early dinner.

I spent weeks to auction a US$650 Star Wars Collectible coffee table book, a Supreme US$400 baseball cap; until Dec 2016 I had given him US$400 Tom Ford glasses as his Xmas gift. He was more than happy and gladly took them and still told me that we would start over when he was ready. He was never going to start over with me because he had been auditioning his next golden goose egg candidate for his possible migration to NYC. He had his eye on this younger and better version of me who also has US citizenship. They started to have a sexual relationship shortly after his Poland visit to his sick father, and then by January 2016 they had become boyfriends. Which again, I was in the dark; I was still thinking I would take out the few thousand dollars I have left to move him to NYC and get married. And he will eventually want to be intimate with me again. We were so compatible and attracted to each other; there is no way the drugs could erase that part too. Well, I was wrong. Drugs to different people could have different effects. I

read some articles on research of crystal meth; it could alter some people’s behavior, moral compass, and diminish / destroy conscience.

When I found out all these tragedies and lies in March 2017, that was right after I delivered a box of belated Valentine’s Day chocolate to him. He told me he was too busy to meet up for three weeks in a row. That was the last time I saw him in person. At that moment, he still used his ex-boyfriend as his excuse for being busy. I wanted to take a photo with him; he told me, “No, didn’t you or haven’t you made enough trouble in my life?” He was very scattered, at midnight still trying to reply to 10 emails to vendors. He does not know how to type; it makes him look even more sketchy and shaky. I had sat there for 30 minutes before I asked him to run away and get married in NYC; he said, “Not yet, not yet.” If I had known he was hinting he already found and engaged to another New Yorker who was waiting for him to come home to the apartment I rented for him. Who would know?

A few days after, I pieced together a few tweets, Instagram posts, and Facebook posts; I decided to ask this New Yorker directly if he was seeing Con. Graciously, he is too good of a guy, well-mannered, and he admitted they first met for Chem-sex via Grindr 30 months

before; they became friends but decided to reacquaint to develop a relationship in January 2017. I do not remember how many times he and I chatted online and on the phones. I cried literally for weeks. Every bit and piece of information he told me was unbelievable and incomprehensible. I could feel my head was exploding over and over when I heard, “Con has been living alone… I am at his flat chatting with you now.” He had been doing drugs almost daily for years; I also compared the information with two other acquaintances he knows. When he found out I already found out the information he hid from me, he literally was outed from his skeleton closet. He decided to hate me from then on; when I confronted him, he said, “I don’t care, so what? Blow me now! LOL HAHAHA, you wish!”

A Con’s Chem-sex playmate, also his longtime Barber, told me they had gamed more than a handful of times from 2015-16. While Con tried to become ultra attentive and friendly, on many occasions, he attempted to borrow a large sum of loan from Barber, who was so much smarter than me; he kindly rejected. Since then, Con stopped calling Barber. Barber also told me he knew Con never had good intentions. Whenever they met for a cut of hair or crystal meth, Con only bitched and moaned, bad-mouthing his boyfriend, who is Barber’s friend from the get-go.

All the premeditated lies and baleful manipulation; I do not know what made me decide to rather make peace, forgive him if he apologized, even be civil and befriend after… For months, at least five months after March 2017, I tried, I tried, I have tried so hard to contact him for peace-offering. I tried going through his ex-fiancé; I tried all different communication; it just reinforced my theory on his menacing ego of how he enjoys seeing me failing to gain any grounds between us. Perhaps, that’s the reason he stopped all intimacy with me from the get-go, just to show me who is the boss. He is always the boss and calling shots even though he needed to borrow money from me. The more I gave, the more he absorbed in an ominous way, but he would reciprocate subzero. His ego completely took control for demeaning every single thing and moment with me in his life, almost as if he wished he could just tear pages from his journal with my footprint, so that he could pretend he had never asked for my financial help, because I remind him of the everlasting smell of depression and taste of defeats. Less taxis, more MTR; no more Balenciaga sneakers or Prada whitebeaters; learn to be humble and less pretentious.

In summary, he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, to keep me around if possible if he runs

out of options. Like I said, the truth always comes out and no one could rewrite history. A narcissist’s worst nightmare is being dumped and being found out for his lies and plans; they usually get angrier immediately and reflect all his problems onto you.

This memoir is a classic textbook case of a narcissist growing into a sociopath. I tried to verbally tell others, but I never got to express 100% of how hurt and betrayed I have been. The web blog can reach thousands of readers from different parts of the world. If anyone questions my truthfulness, please drop me a line in the question section; I have all the evidence and references, WhatsApp transcripts, doctor’s notes, etc., to prove I have not been lying. The only liar in this story is Con. I want to take this chance to announce and tell the world what he had done to me and how much he owes me besides money. So Mister Ego of Con, roll this up and smoke it if you want; I repeat, Con had borrowed from me on six different occasions, for more than HK$160,000 in total. That doesn’t count all those $500 bills he left with almost every time we met, or I had to refill his MTR subway card, etc. He will always and ever be beneath me because he had asked for help and didn’t even want to pay me back. If that’s not egoistic and narcissistic, what else could it be? Trump?!

What’s the Difference Between a
Narcissistic, Psychopath and a Sociopath?

He knew my stand on lending him money; it was completely out of love, and I had no intention to belittle him because he was in need. I was unemployed many times; I know how it feels, and I have learned not to define myself by what I do for a living. I reminded him so many times that didn’t mean he couldn’t be the boss.

His ego is the only one in this story that does not listen.

I chose to believe the good person was still in him; I had faith in the time we spent together that was real, so so real. By 2017, I was on my last rope. He had not been paying his signed loan payment on time, and if he paid, it was always short. He treated my interest-free loans as a “Pay-Whatever-Whenever” promotion. The way he minimized my kind good Samaritan gesture to subzero, it really took a toll on my self-esteem and self-worth. The betrayal was unbelievably hard to swallow. He made up stories to cut his payments short, like he was too busy to go to the ATM to deposit, or he was tight with his HK$75,000 monthly salary, yet he takes taxis everywhere, he pays $23,000 for rent, he would order in Burritos for $100 each, and $1000/gram of crystal meth! Who does that when he still owes thousands and thousands to me and banks??? A sociopath. An ungrateful son-of-a-b*tch!

Sad news was, he was able to know what hurts me the most and went for a home-run for it. He claimed he hated me, and he claims “not craving to communicate with me from then on.” I had lawyers draft a letter to claim the loans in their entirety; he ignored it. I had loan officers visit him to request payments; he threatened to sue me for disclosing his Starbucks information on the Starbucks Facebook page. From what I heard, Starbucks had put him on probation months prior to this saga unfolding for being tardy and missing deadlines. Nevertheless, his sociopathic self decided to not pay me back because it was all my fault because he got laid off by Starbucks in August 2017.

These were all his defense mechanisms: Get angry faster and louder than you, deflecting everything he was accused of; he would tell you you don’t listen, so he didn’t need to explain. Or he would claim you take drugs too because of ABC reasons, while you are asking him if he is taking any drugs. To avoid responsibilities for all his conscienceless decisions. His job loss, 4 maxed-out credit cards, behind on rent in 2015; before he got laid off, he would spend HK$6,500 on a pair of mediocre Balenciaga high-tops, and he got to have two pairs. He has Versace taste with an Old Navy budget. Saving money was never in his dictionary. Unfortunately, he couldn’t

hold on to his drug-free life. His drug sex addiction basically was a quick fix for his unproportional size difference between his ego and self-esteem. He thinks he is so much better than others, which he constantly deflected onto me, saying I do not listen or I know it all. I always told him I don’t know it all; I wanted to learn more from him on Architecture, etc… but hey, when someone is desperate for reasons and blames, it’s easiest to blame the ones who never wanted to hurt you. But yet his income, social status, and his ex-coworkers do not agree.

Well, he decided to look for satisfaction through endless anonymous sex, lots of it, unprotected, and that’s the only thing he could be proud of. Rumors said he is so addicted, he had to attend and organize an orgy at his hotel room after his father’s funeral recently. He told others that he is called a RAW SEX GOD by his Chem-sex Meth circle peers. He always told me while pounding his chest that he’s a master of a gifted penis. In my opinion, this is a classic case of insecurity, feeding his overeating ego, compensating for his real-life failure by walking his dog, sniffing every street corner, favoring quantity over quality on every butt and every hydrant, just to score some thinner than his hair self-esteem. When a shallow one defines his identity by his job title and money, he is

so vulnerable to get on a slippery drug slope. Con is a classic example, exhibit A.

I am in the creative field too; as an artist, if you cannot find a footing to try to make the most and find the joy between compromises you make and clients? Do not get into commercial creative businesses. Con is only talented at doing architecture design; in fact, so admirably talented. However, his lack of interpersonal skills and administration skills (he’s a Praying Mantis typer), being too stubborn on demanding his taste and aesthetic reflection from his work, condemning clients’ interests, led to isolation and being dramatically booted from his last firm. From what I saw and heard from Con, his exit was supposed to be compensated for 1/5 of the firm’s worth; instead, he must be so hated by everyone; EVERY SINGLE hire stopped speaking to him; the firm shut its door filing bankruptcy in order to screw him over without paying him a dime. Funnily, they started a new shop with a new name somewhere else soon after.

Hindsight is always 20/20. In my opinion, Con has a complex of a love-hate relationship with Chinese. On one hand, he is extremely attracted to Asians physically; yet under his breath, on more than a handful of occasions, he had been straight up making many racist comments, spoke down to and against Chinese. It’s almost like the theory of men addicted to cheap prostitution, having sex with them almost like punishing them for payback. Who knows why he did it; maybe insecurity, maybe he thought his career was screwed by Chinese repeatedly, or maybe just being narcissistic to self-promote superiority. Whatever his mental case is, I am the ultimate collateral damage! He took everything from me for granted, with no gratitude, stepping all over my dignity, diminished me to less than dust with no apologies, killing my self-esteem for his adrenaline rush. This is a perfect trace of a sociopath,”Heck, those Chinese took so much away from me, I have no problem and not regret for a bit when I get it back from another Chinese, fair and square! Plus, this easy-to-manipulate Chinese is more than willing! I didn’t even need to try hard!” The latter part, “easy to manipulate,” was an actual quote from Con who repeated it a few times when he tried to convince everyone else I spoke to about him was lying.

---

---