a Narcissist’s Disneyland
Lack of empathy for others, constantly need admiration from anyone (Con demands praises of his penis), he often grandiose-fantasizing being successful in his line of work. From his facade, I thought he was very well-established, he only wore the most expensive US$180 wife-beater tee by Balenciaga and 2 pairs of their overpriced sneakers for HK$6,500 each, a cannot- afford-to-fix Bvlgari watch for $35,000K, constantly taxi-round trips to grill himself in tannning salons when he still owes other people so much money. He demeans other’s success, and he is convinced that he deserves special treatment so he rarely said thank you genuinely after I paid for our entire 2015 summer’s meals. He never wrote me a card to thank for my help loaning money to him, not even an official email, remember? He usually went MIA after each loan.
Besides being a sociopath, all these attributes listed above can diagnose Con is suffering Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). A narcissist is at times very arrogant (He said Paul Smith is not a preppy fashion designer, no one else could convince him otherwise,) self-centered (for 5/6 of our time together, it was all “him time” to
nurturing his career. Well, what he was nurturing is his fleet of fuckbuddies and many sleepless night of videographing his own sexual escapades.) We already know he is more than manipulative, and demanding. He demanded no sexual contact time until he stops being so exhausted, and “got his footing at work.” Those were the exact words he used, meanwhile he already used my loan to live alone and was on a Chem-sex-world-tour of Guys Gone Wild, almost everyone in Chem-sex community living in the Sheung Wan area knows him or at least knows of him and probably have been graced by his King D*ck.
Remember he could not turn off his big smile when he was telling me it took five years for his ex to get over him? I bet that was a lie too, but it was a lie he already immediately believed in to make himself more superior. I talked to his ex, he said he had never said that, even if that’s the case, he would have never told Con that. And I bet you he made up the KingD*ck, or Sex God names, to grandiose himself as a high demand item, since he practically has nothing else could brag on. Unless or I supposed he can get back to the gym start making friends for the right purpose, stop the Chem-sex and get a good job. I supposed he could mend the wrong and make things right. I supposed he would change… Alright, times up, wake up! He will never change.
I remember, after each loan I have given him, Con disappeared MIA for days. At first I believed he was too wrapped up at work. Well, yes, busy for ego-stroking in a drug binge with his erection. Even if there were no drugs, he’s been known to play his silence strategy — “mute” until further notice. It has one intention, it is meant to hurt. It is meant to teach me a lesson — even he had to borrow from me, look who is still the boss! And, make no mistake, I am pretty sure, when
he was applying his silence he also buying himself free time for being with someone else or for hustling up new sources of supply, other people who he can mooch on next after he tosses me away.
According to Psychology Today, “It is designed to (1) place the abuser in a position of control; (2) silence the target’s attempts at assertion; (3) avoid conflict resolution/personal responsibility/compromise; or (4) punish the target for a perceived ego slight. Often, the result of the silent treatment is exactly what the person with narcissism wishes to create: a reaction from the target and a sense of control.“
The target, who may possess high emotional intelligence, empathy, conflict-resolution skills, and the ability to compromise, may work diligently to respond to the deafening silence. Most victims – myself included – describe the days and weeks of silence as an agonizing torture that leaves us broken and desperate, willing to try anything and everything to get a response. In my case I frequently reach out to the Con via email, phone, or text to resolve greatly inflated misunderstandings, and is typically met with continued disdain, contempt, and silence. If this means apologizing for the sole purpose of apologizing even though we know have done nothing wrong, then so be it. When you’re in the thick of it, the pain of the silence is far worse than the pain of being a doormat. Meanwhile, Con goes on his business until, for whatever reason, he feels I have been punished enough or other guys he fucked does not have an USA passport, or something he doesn’t like. When this happens, he will usually return offering no explanation – or at least no logical explanation — and he will expect to pick up right where he left off and as if he’d never been gone. Essentially, the narcissistic Con’s message is one of extreme disapproval to the degree that the silence rendered me so insignificant that I am ignored and becomes more or less nonexistent in his eyes.
The emotional maturity of a typical narcissistic person is akin to a 5-year-old child who pouts and refuses to play with a friend in the sandbox because the friend wants to share the pail and shovel. The 5-year-old refuses to talk with the friend and angrily storms off to play on the jungle gym with someone else. The bewildered child with the pail and shovel may feel confused, rejected, and may not understand why they can’t share. He or she just wanted to build a sand castle together. Because no further communication can ensue unless and until the narcissistic person decides to give the target another chance, a false sense of control is nurtured. Often, the narcissistic person will demand that the target apologize for whatever inflated transgression the target may have committed (the target may have set a limit or asserted a boundary against emotional abuse, for example). So dismantled and dejected, I often let it go and with no answer or some BS busy with his ex, etc, instead, to revel in the fact that the anxiety has passed (for this time.) This particular response, by the way, is an intended result of the silent treatment so that Con gets away with the entire debacle. This is just another narcissistic strategy for setting and managing down my expectations so that I started to expect less and less and he got away with more and more. He did the same thing about deposit loan payments, days after days not returning emails SMS, delays after delays, excuses were quite colorful, out sick or bad weather, public holidays bank closes, etc. Bitch, when he needed the money he wanted it right the way, since when ATMs close on holidays, all he needed to do was to take cash out from one ATM, and deposit to another ATM(Take max daily limit cash out for two days, then deposit! 15 days late was pure chest pounding bully act.)
A narcissist always abandons and discards the relationship when his victim presents an ultimatum or attempts resolution requiring compromise. That was exactly what happened to me. The minute I found out all his lies, he shut me out, ended with no communication but abandonment. The 5-year-old decides it is too much explain, too much work to share the pail and shovel, so he storms off and plays with a new, innocent target on the swing set.
How does he sleep at nights? Besides his HIV night sweat, I bet he sleeps like a baby. I feel sad for someone who has no emotion or feelings. He said he does, but in reality he never really knows what feeling feels like, what it feels like to have butterflies in the stomach truly submit to a partner and enjoy the time together. That’s so sad.
Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/silent-treatment-a-narcissistic-persons-preferred-weapon-0602145
the Epitome of a Sociopath’s Evil Atrocious Game 